- "Honey, would you please stop hitting me with your shoe."
- "No, Sweetie, we don't put Froot Loops in our ears."
- "You have toilet paper in your hair!"
- "Stop eating the bed!"
- "Get out of the garbage!" (Oh, if I had a nickel for every time I have said that...)
- "You've got a Cheeto in your eyelash."
- "Baby, get out of the dishwasher, please."
- "Why is there macaroni up your sleeve?" And I said that to the 6-year-old, not the baby.
- "I'm just getting your poopy diaper off the roof."*
*Yes, I really said that.